Don’t call me Grace

One of the most difficult parts for me being a mom is that I constantly compare myself to other women. Maybe it’s just that we don’t see the “uglier” side of motherhood for other women, but I always feel like I’m doing it worse than everyone else.

I worry that I lose my patience too easily. I worry that I expect too much from my husband. I obsess over the fact that I haven’t lost enough weight and that I don’t look like some of the beautiful, skinny celebrities (or heck, even some of my gorgeous mommy friends!). I wish I could spend more time with my son and more time caring for our home and more time with our poor dog, who always seems starved for attention these days.

My husband is great about reminding me that we have a healthy and handsome baby boy, and many people who would love to have a child of their own do not (or cannot).

I titled this post “Don’t call me Grace” for a couple reasons: one, I certainly wish I had more of it. To be honest, my son was conceived while I was on birth control, so I wasn’t even 100 percent certain I wanted children before I had him. (Please do not misconstrue that to mean I would trade anything in the world for him now. I love that kid!) I wrote to someone recently that I wish I handled motherhood with more grace than I do.

Two, I’ve found that something that helps me deal with those rough days are, while I’m feeding my son his bottle at the end of the day before bed, I started singing him hymns. Cliche as it may be, one of my favorites is Amazing Grace. I sing him both the traditional version as well as this variation by Chris Tomlin (Amazing Grace [My Chains Are Gone]).

Perhaps I’m not as graceful as I’d like, but God’s grace is ample, and I’m thankful for it every day. Speaking of hymns, do you have any favorites to add to my singing list?