Awhile back, I wrote The Best Dating Advice Ever, Part 1; however, it occurred to me recently that I should have written the most important advice first!
The most important and best dating advice I could ever offer anyone – women or men – is to change the way you search for a partner. Most women I know look for an attractive man or a man who earns a good living or a man who excites them. Unfortunately, none of these traits are going to make for a long-lasting or fulfilling partnership.
Most of my readers already know that I am a Christian, and as such, women (and men) should seek a Godly man who will inspire, encourage and support a stronger relationship with God. That should absolutely be the first priority in determining if a man is right for you.
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How can you determine this step by step? I would strongly suggest reading a book by author Gary Thomas called “The Sacred Search: What if it’s not about who you marry, but why?”
When I was in my 20s, my cousin told me that for Christians, dating isn’t just for fun. Dating is a process to determine if a person is a good partner for marriage. I didn’t get this at the time.
Now, I realize she was absolutely correct. For Christians, cohabitation or an intimate relationship outside of marriage isn’t Godly, and so dating without the intention of getting married is simply a waste of time. Thus, dating must be about evaluating an individual as a marriage partner. Is this someone who dovetails with my goals as a Christian woman and the traits necessary to make a successful team?
The book The Sacred Search outlines how to make that determination in an easy-to-read almost outline format. I purchased the book myself on the recommendation of a friend after ending a seven-year off/on relationship. I took it on vacation to the beach, and literally could not put the book down until I’d read it cover to cover.
I had so many “aha!” moments reading that book. Suddenly, I was seeing why my previous relationship had ultimately failed – numerous reasons all outlined clearly for me in that book. The Sacred Search changed my life.
I met my now-husband a few months later. While neither of us is perfect, we both had the same characteristics that make a marriage last. Despite numerous trials in our first two years of marriage, I keep seeing that my husband and I are both committed, and we actually come through these tribulations stronger than we were before.
So, if you are like I used to be, and you are looking for love for all the wrong reasons, STOP! Please, learn from my exercises in insanity, and read The Sacred Search as soon as possible. I cannot imagine any Christian who hopes to marry some day regretting it!