Starting Again – How The Unplanned Mommy Was Born

My name is Kelly, and I am a control freak. I am a planner. I like to plan out my day, even if that day consists of nothing but watching movies in my pajamas. And if I plan to do nothing but watch movies in my pajamas, your asking me to then break those plans to get dressed and go out to dinner or for drinks will send me into an anxious panic. I didn’t PLAN to get dressed today, so I’m simply not mentally prepared for your request!

I never knew this thing about myself until I became a mother. When my son was born four years ago, suddenly my life was no longer my own. (No surprise to those of you who have multiple children or have been mothers for years!)

Basic hygiene became a luxury. I could no longer shower as part of my regular routine. I couldn’t sleep when I was tired. I couldn’t even pee in peace! Every waking moment is dedicated to thinking first of what the baby needs.

This lack of control really threw me for a loop. It’s one thing to hear about it from other moms. It’s one thing to understand your life will now revolve around this new being that is your own flesh, that you love more than your own life, but it is quite another to live it and breathe it day in, day out.

The lack of control – my life suddenly not being my own anymore – led to a lot of anxiety and eventually depression. I did a lot of thinking and soul-searching. I took time off work.

I don’t recall if it was during a long walk with my dog (a rare occurrence) or a sleepless night during my bout with insomnia that I came to the realization that there is very little in life we can truly control.

My son was unplanned (definitely wanted! but unplanned) – never forget that the pill may be rendered ineffective while on birth control, kids! Meeting my husband was definitely not in my plan. (I had just ended a seven-year, incredibly toxic on/off relationship three months prior to meeting him.) Post-pregnancy complications led to an extremely unplanned career shift.

And thus, the idea behind The Unplanned Mommy was born. Sure, the general premise was that we had an unexpected pregnancy, and I have struggled – and continue to struggle – with the entire concept of myself as mother.

But even beyond that, The Unplanned Mommy is about accepting life as it comes. Preparedness is great, but the ability to adapt to the curveballs life throws at you is key to survival.

The Unplanned Mommy is about accepting life as it comes. Preparedness is great, but the ability to adapt to the curveballs life throws at you is key to survival. #momlife #moms Click To Tweet

My intent is to connect with other moms (or dads, sisters, aunts, grandmas, whoever!) who, like me, realize that we can’t all be the perfect, planned-out Pinterest-crafting, creative-organic-lunch-packing, perfectly-manicured mom you see on TV.

Life can’t be planned, and that’s okay! That’s The Unplanned Mommy way.